''From a Distant Memory''

A few days ago i was browsing on Youtube and search for the song "What Good Is That Without You" little did i know it was sung by Anna Fegie and was the soundtrack of the movie ''Gimik, The Reunion" what a big coincidence that we we're talking about the remake of that now defunct hit TV series of the ninety's when i was still on duty yesterday.

Just this afternoon I watched the remake pilot episode of "Gimik 2010, The Reunion" and it was a blast from the past, i remember my childhood the good and the bad memories,a nostalgia! Truly, this series was a part of my being i enjoyed watching and patronizing every character. I still recall Dianne played by Judy Ann Santos, Ricky played by late Rico Yan, Gary, Gina, Melanie, SC, Joey and Brian. It helps me but to wonder what happened to my friends before? I still have communications with few of them but what about the others? I hope someday we conduct this so called Reunion. And i relate my

In High-school I have a group called "Amiga" comprised by three ladies and I, and some other guys. But the four of us Amiga's really had the good times. I have Amiga Girlie the pretty one, the girl whose popular to boys. There's Amiga Joan the girl with the bangs, i remember i used to borrow her cp just to text Makmak before. And lastly Amiga Carmela the one whose so petite she looks like Andrea in Monica Brava a Latin Novella star. I really miss these folks, the two of them have family now and happy being a mother while Carmela still in Dubai, sometime she called to say Hi!But we never heard from her for two years now. Last February i had dinner with Girlie and Joan and patch for the lost times we had. Its been a long eight years and the time spent with them still vivid on my mind.

In college i built another group of friends, the group was formed because we're classmates and alongside duty-mates. We've gotten a long way already, i missed our ''inuman sessions" our out of town duties. We are so many in the group, there's Michelle i consider her as my favorite friend, we are the link of the'barkada' we still have communications with our distant friend. My friend Grays whose in Lebanon now whose been our resident singer, she's the one possesses the most beautiful voice, a true diva. The two of them has been my closest i really shared everything with them, my life, my love life every detail they know. There's Eros the girl whose been our classmate for one semester but remain our friend. She never missed our get together in the Apartment our niche. She's the girl with a big boobs, and had a controversial love story. Sheryn my elite friend, she's the most ''maarte" and hard to crack but we tend to get used to her mean character. We have plenty of guy friends and the one that marked me the most is the guy named Ryan, he changed my perspective on love, and his my second love next to Mark. His totally opposite of my ideal guy but he swoon me over by his kindest and sweetness. Another guy is Rolly the nerdy one. He's the laughing stock of the boys but I'm more close to him. His the most pure and sincere to all of them. Michael the ultimate Chick-magnet he had a numerous girls during our college days. OB another Michael but we used to call him with that name, a guy whose skin is so smooth like a baby, i swear because we saw his butt and OMG so fair and smooth. He has resemblance to Jay-R the RNB prince. I have gay companions also named Jordan and Rogel, the former we had a rough times especially when he and my cousin went to a relationship but we learn to appease each other after a few years when we graduated. Rogel we had a lot of jokes and teasing, and i had fair share of ''okray'' with him.

Soon I know I'll be flying out of the country to work but I hope one of these years we had our reunion, the time spent, the tears laughter we shared are way to treasure, its part of what i've become. Hopefully when we get along I had my answer prayer with me, Him that I've longed for.

Ainan :)

So Help Me God!

This week was a roller coaster ride for me! There's an incident that happened that almost torn me apart. I never been so incompetent and irrelevant since now. Last month I had a not intended error that was not permitted on my profession, and now it looks like i had it again. I feel so incompetent that after I'm doing my best to live with the expectations of my job, the opposite thing happen, but it boils down that nobodies perfect, neither I imperfect!

Another mistake that will raised eyebrow from people whom think they know better, and I owe them my service!. I am so tired on my Unit, there's no camaraderie now, we're working for the benefit of oneself and try to mock, and assassinate each personality.So self-centered service, I want to BREAK FREE and leave this situation I'm in right now.But don't know how, maybe I know but still i can't work on it right now. Secondly, i don't feel they wanted me to be there anymore. I feel so solitary, that I'm alienated on my own workplace.

I'm strong, I know and I'm trying to be one. But I'm only human and ordinary human can only take too much. Too many stress, fatigue and negative people makes me down flat on the ground.
I want to let go all of these negativities. I try to be optimistic but sometimes it's so hard, when unwanted thing always happen. I will try to defy gravity, and I want to soar, fly high like a bird but I'm hopeless, I felt so consume with energy and will to survive. I need someone to enlighten me and I know that only Him can be my saving grace. I need my Intervention soon before i breakdown.

Ainan ;(

I Love Kris Aquino

Last Sunday i was watching "The Buzz" and i was mortified by Kris' monologue about what has been happened to her these past few weeks. People has been so cruel to her, especially during the said Ruffa Gutierrez walk-out incident. I cried over the fact that she's planning to quit show-business for awhile. She asked for her Sisters approval regarding the said matter. And the said decision is still hanging.

Kris sometimes tactless but most of the time tactful. I adore her being transparent and vocal about her feelings. She's polarizing you may love her or hate her but I'm on the loving part. What most admirable about her is that in every roller coaster issues she's in she learned something and tried to do something or changed about it. Somehow she's true about being careful on words coming out from your mouth, at times its hard for me, there times i say things that was a joke for me but for other people that's a mere assassination of characters. I'm trying to be a person of less talk, less mistakes but i can't help it, I'm a very opinionated person, i have a lot of words to say if i know i have a voice on that topic.

I learned something from Ruffa Gutierrez "never say goodbye and never burn bridges" somewhat its true, never lose communication and friendship from the people whom had been part of your life and mentor you about life's chaotic schemes. For all the people I've hurt from the ruthless words coming from me, I want to apologize and appease you by saying sorry and I'll try my best to improve my being, nobody's perfect and i am not perfect but i assure you that there's a room for improvement and I'm working on it.

Ainan :)

From a Different Point of View

"Everyone has their own Love Story, mine has not yet made, and still on the making" that's my latest shout out from my FB account. The reason why i was mushy because I've watched the movie "Miss You Like Crazy" i was really a fan of Bea & John LLoyd and really applaud the movie "One More Chance".

I was so excited knowing that I'm a true-blooded (hopeless-romantic). I cried on the movie, it was a tear-jerker, i contemplated on my love life and analyzed all the special people who crossed path with my heart. I admit I'm still into my first love, lucky Mark Anthony is keeping me head over heels for him. I know his happy and settled now but i remember the boy and still remember the feeling.

I was moved by the line "Time is meaningless" true, if you love someone, no matter how many years passed by, you still hoping and praying that one day, you will end up together. The movie gave me some sort of hope for the "hopeless case" like me. The movie catapults my definition of love for someone, the sacrifices you have to endure, that you have to let go when you have to, that not all people in love are bound to be together.

I maybe just another Mia, whose priority is family! I know somewhere along the way I will meet my August, maybe not now, but soon we will cross path, and shake hands!!!

Ainan :)

"A Glimpse from the Past"

Last October 17, 2009 i was granted my first VL (vacation leave) for 11 days, these leaves are given for associate whose one year in service, lucky me, i chose to have it then. There's nothing unusual done i just had a total 8 hours sleep, a nap time, and a full meal. The only thing i decided to do was "DVD Marathon" i chose Sailormoon series to be the subject.

I remember i first watch this anime' way back 1991 and continued patronizing it until the last episode shown at ABC 5, if memory serves me that was 2003 or 2004. It was I and my twin cousins Mitchell and Michael enjoyed it, I was playing Sailorpluto then.

When i first watched the episode 1 during my DVD marathon, i haven't remember the story then until i went to episodes 4 and kept on watching. I couldn't help but continuously watch it, i felt the nostalgia sets in the memories of my childhood, the fond memories i have shared with my cousins, the days i waited for Saturday because its sailor moon day.

What really strikes me and made me realized now is that the story wasn't just about the sailor warriors fighting for love and justice, it also tackles an undying love just like Romeo & Juliet.

Princess Serenity & Prince Endymion love defies all odds. I was captured and teary-eyed when i found out their link on the story, it was quite witty and clever. I was so touched and felt the undying love.

I know you might laugh or found my entry irrelevant but if you've watched the series i know somehow you might find the same feeling i felt from SAILORMOON.

Ainan

"When Catastrophe Came"

Last September 26, 2009 will be marked on our country's history due to typhoon Ondoy's wrath, the metropolis was submerged to flood and mud because of the nine hours continuous rain. I myself experienced being stranded at Valenzuela City because i attended my friend's birthday party. I was trapped for one day, there we're no vehicles passing by because even a Bus was submerged to flood. Fortunately, we have foods although the electricity went out.

That was really a devastating experience, it was a lost of many lives not to mention material things and ways of living. I saw captured pictures and videos of the whole metropolis and the metro manila i have known was converted into an ocean in just a glimpse. It was really a tragedy all of us Filipinos would have never forget.

What really pains me and brought me to tears was when i read about a Korean comment on a blog in the "Twitter" and i quote " Have you heard the news?!The monkey island Philippines is flooded. I hope the rain will never stop to drown those monkeys". All of them are laughing, another one said "They will all die because monkeys cant swim". That was a cruel comment knowing that it came from a neighboring country. We Filipinos have been hospitable and love the Korean for their Telenovelas. I myself had a Korean friend when i was studying nursing and i was been so good to her, i was the only one talking and explaining everything to her.

On a lighter note, i was delighted by the overflowing of supports and financial aide from other countries. I was moved when i saw some Hollywood celebrities who used the Twitter to asked for support whole over the world. There were Demi & Ashton Kutcher, Alyssa Milano and Josh Groban to name a few. These shows that all of us is human, and we do need each other. Hope this coming Christmas will help to alleviate some loneliness and emptiness the past chaos brought.

Ainan ;(

Long Overdue

It's been 3 months since my last entry, there so many times I've tried to write an entry of all the things that had happened to me. There's been a lot of summer outing, a heartbreak, falling in love again, plenty of night outs and even pollutants of life.

I miss blogging a lot, here i can express all my thoughts, all my feelings that i need to express that i cannot open up with my friends. I have missed a lot especially Chris Tiu's blog that i have been a patron. I went too many places these past few months, i have been to Puerto Galera with my co-associate at St. Lukes, and the former anawangin gurls is now converted to puerto galera girls... I really enjoyed the seashore, especially the snorkeling we had, it seems like i was a mermaid on my past life. We enjoyed the boating and the island hopping. It was a surreal experience another hallmark of my life. I do have the pictures just try to visit my Facebook account thru the name "Ainan Igaya" just search it if you do have the time.

Aside from outing, i have a lots of night outs, i went to timog to tomas morato up to valenzuela for our monthly update with my college friends. And I'm sad to say the alcoholic content of my body is equal to the water content, just kidding. But i do have enough share of happy moments.
And i have a lot of fair share of emptied and emotionally imbalance moments.

I suffered a tremendous heartbreaks that leads me to bring back the inner "Queen Bee" in me, i didn't mean to be harsh to everyone but i need to protect myself from all those people who tried to tie you down. Everyday we we're surrounded by people, fake and untrue its a matter of analyzing who is who. Right now, i even made another mistake, falling in love again to someone who has a girlfriend. Again, i cannot count how many times i fell to someone who already had a special someone.

What pains me more is the thought that i couldn't express my feelings for some reasons. Prudence dictates me that i have to save a piece of me to prevent myself for having a troubled heart again. I want to share who the guy is, but I'm saving it for my next entry...

Ainan