This week was a roller coaster ride for me! There's an incident that happened that almost torn me apart. I never been so incompetent and irrelevant since now. Last month I had a not intended error that was not permitted on my profession, and now it looks like i had it again. I feel so incompetent that after I'm doing my best to live with the expectations of my job, the opposite thing happen, but it boils down that nobodies perfect, neither I imperfect!
Another mistake that will raised eyebrow from people whom think they know better, and I owe them my service!. I am so tired on my Unit, there's no camaraderie now, we're working for the benefit of oneself and try to mock, and assassinate each personality.So self-centered service, I want to BREAK FREE and leave this situation I'm in right now.But don't know how, maybe I know but still i can't work on it right now. Secondly, i don't feel they wanted me to be there anymore. I feel so solitary, that I'm alienated on my own workplace.
I'm strong, I know and I'm trying to be one. But I'm only human and ordinary human can only take too much. Too many stress, fatigue and negative people makes me down flat on the ground.
I want to let go all of these negativities. I try to be optimistic but sometimes it's so hard, when unwanted thing always happen. I will try to defy gravity, and I want to soar, fly high like a bird but I'm hopeless, I felt so consume with energy and will to survive. I need someone to enlighten me and I know that only Him can be my saving grace. I need my Intervention soon before i breakdown.
Ainan ;(
No comments:
Post a Comment