First status at my FB account this year was ''2012 is my year and I'll claim it" inadvertently I will live by my words, I wanted this year to be full straight-forward with my goals. I'm setting my goals and hopefully little by little I'll achieved it.
Last year was somewhat a stable year, it wasn't a roller-coaster ride but somehow a plateau one. But this year I'm planning to make a difference not only with my ways of living but to come up with a better or newer version of myself. If you're going to ask me what will be the scariest thing that would ever happen to me? I would probably say If I wasn't able to grow as a person, not able to further my life and remain stagnant to where I am right now. I am a kind of person who doesn't want to rest on my laurels I wanted to learn, I wanted to be dynamic; life is a constant change you have to cope with every changes happening, treat it as water under the bridge as I always say anyways, moving on....
Last time I learned something the so called " Storming The Gates of Heaven" it means that it's not enough to pray or say "Bahala Na Si God'' what we must do is constantly ask God for our wishes, for our intentions. We must ask for it everyday, every minute and every second of our lives. Constantly thinking of what we desire. Notwithstanding, that's why he was called God but this coveted wish entails that we have to do something in return, we have to at least give back.
Lastly, I know that in order for a person to find true love one must seek first love deep inside his heart, learning to love oneself selfishly. I answered one question from a friend before the query was how do I remain happy despite being single? My answer was I constantly reminding myself that I am okay, accepting my choice living with the though that someday someone will come. Although the cold nights seemingly visiting me I have to psyched myself that I am okay that I can be happy albeit I'm single, but I'm not losing hope that someday someone will find the light I am emitting, the effervescent personality will be appreciated. and If that time comes I can say love really moves in mysterious ways. According to a famous D.J ''bawat kaldero may nakalaan takip" I guess I need to search and wait for my lid.
Ainan
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
" A Truest Friend From a Friend's Points Of View"
What's your definition of a friend? Is he the one who goes out with you every party moments or drinking session? Or the whose been there in every ordeal or obstacles you had encountered? Maybe the person who comforted you and cried with you during the heartbreaks and laugh every time you're in love?
You might say all the definition i cited is true, you might agree that a true friend is beneficial and an indispensable part of your life. I was lucky enough that on my journey to life i had encountered people from all walks of life. People who became part of my life and would describe me as i can describe myself. Some maybe a good acquaintance and some stayed and become loyal.
I have two girl friends I considered as my best of friends. Two ladies who knows me and accepted as who I am. Through absence and presence the magical bond have never ended. As paying tribute to the genuine friendship they shared to me allow me to present a composition who tells how much i valued our friendship:; To my cousin Sidney and my good friend Michelle this song's for you
"Right By My side"
I.
When I was down I just called up
to her and she will listen.
Giving advises and comfort to
ease the pain.
And after I cried on her shoulder
I start to feel better.
Coz she's a friend. Oh! a true friend.
Chorus:
And I am so thankful, and I am
so blessed.
Having that wonderful person
around.
And I don't have to cry all alone.
Coz she will be right here,
right by my side.
II.
There come a time that
distance will interfere. Oh! yeah.
But our bond and connection will
never disappear.
Memories of good times &
bad times that made me strong.
Will always be treasured, my friend!
Forevermore.
You might say all the definition i cited is true, you might agree that a true friend is beneficial and an indispensable part of your life. I was lucky enough that on my journey to life i had encountered people from all walks of life. People who became part of my life and would describe me as i can describe myself. Some maybe a good acquaintance and some stayed and become loyal.
I have two girl friends I considered as my best of friends. Two ladies who knows me and accepted as who I am. Through absence and presence the magical bond have never ended. As paying tribute to the genuine friendship they shared to me allow me to present a composition who tells how much i valued our friendship:; To my cousin Sidney and my good friend Michelle this song's for you
"Right By My side"
I.
When I was down I just called up
to her and she will listen.
Giving advises and comfort to
ease the pain.
And after I cried on her shoulder
I start to feel better.
Coz she's a friend. Oh! a true friend.
Chorus:
And I am so thankful, and I am
so blessed.
Having that wonderful person
around.
And I don't have to cry all alone.
Coz she will be right here,
right by my side.
II.
There come a time that
distance will interfere. Oh! yeah.
But our bond and connection will
never disappear.
Memories of good times &
bad times that made me strong.
Will always be treasured, my friend!
Forevermore.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
What Our Country Needs Right Now
I am profusely saddened of what transpired last Monday. The hostility and violence that floats in the atmosphere was quite underrated. The hostage drama was quite phenomenal that captured the attention not just the whole country but the rest of the world. I'm deeply torn while watching it on live television, it was heart-pounding while imagining how those lives was taken by the perpetrator. There we're many lives taken and I can't imagine that those Hongkong Nationals we're here to paid visit and had fun but end up in a gruesome crime.
My prayers and my heart goes to the victims and families. I'm praying for the eternal repose of their souls and peace. What had happened was truly disturbing nobody deserves to be in that situation not those Chinese-Nationals nor Filipinos. I couldn't condone the act of the perpetrator. At first he was cooperative but when the agitation and anguish sets in the hostility of his crime out pours alongside with the rain.
I'm quite exasperated by the outcome of the incident. I know our authorities had lapses with the actions they had made. With the decisions they made. Its quite depressing that it really shows how incompetent our forces are. We had lack of equipments and inexperience with such crime. Its not an excuse that we belonged to a Third World Country but how can you expect a poor country to produce a well-choreographed crime response?! Its no excuse that many lives suffered but we Filipinos doesn't need all this racism and outrage. Our authorities did their best in the extent of their power to save those lives. But things happened beyond our control. I understand where their coming the outpouring of anger but the act of one doesn't reflect the whole, doesn't reflects the whole country.
I am reading the threading of messages in Facebook and I'm quite disturb of some fellow remarks regarding the incident. The finger-pointing was not necessary at this point. Why blame the cops for the incompetence of the system, which the rotten system of delayed justice was the main culprit why this incident happened. We are not washing are hands from the incident but all those people did their best to assault the perpetrator.
I hope Hongkong people would not take it against the Filipinos working in their country. They should take into account the professionalism and the hospitality we're giving. And Filipinos should work hand and hand to rebuilt our country's reputation. We should defend our nation not to mock our own. I am not in favor of the outcome but we deserve to be treated as fair as possible. STOP RACISM!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Defying Gravity
It took me so long before I posted another entry because I'm so busy with life nowadays actually work to be exact. Being a nurse ate my time so much, it comes to a time that in a day after work i just slept, ate and watch T.V so monotonous. The title speaks only my fascination to Glee being a certified Gleek and soon my endeavor to follow my dreams.
This coming September 04, 2010 I'm officially two years in my work and the bond ended soon I'm going to face a bigger picture of my ideals, the culmination of my aspiration to help my family. Most of us wanted to work abroad able to give our families a better future quite a cliche' but its a vivid reality. I was supposed to take the first step by having a review and took the Ielts but due to some inevitable circumstances I opted to postponed it yet. Now I'm still here undecided what step should I'll be taking next, clueless of what in store for me in the future.
Bluntly, I am so tired of my present situation; Since my sister left for the States and I become the sole breadwinner for my Mother and my Sister and her daughters my life wasn't become as stable as before, there times that I'm broke that i don't know what to do next, I have dues that have to be paid off even if I work in a high-end hospital the compensation isn't enough to cover all the fines and bills attached to me. I have to be strong because I know I have to but I'm only human and a normal being can only take too much, and all of these are too much to bear.
I'm a well-rounded person and a God-fearing one maybe my coping mechanism works well but indefatigable works solely for superheroes and I ain't one.
During my contemplation I kept on thinking maybe the reason I am not successful in the Love aspect of my life because I have a much bigger responsibility, I have my two nieces that needs to send to school so many reasons to strive better for a good living. Just like my sister always told me its gonna be paid off I adamantly hope soon its gonna be paid off.
My hope still rekindles but sooner that light will dim and I prayed to God before that lights become dimmer let His love shines upon me. Just like what my favorite quotation said " Continue to make your life shine, to be the light and guide by others"
-Ainan
This coming September 04, 2010 I'm officially two years in my work and the bond ended soon I'm going to face a bigger picture of my ideals, the culmination of my aspiration to help my family. Most of us wanted to work abroad able to give our families a better future quite a cliche' but its a vivid reality. I was supposed to take the first step by having a review and took the Ielts but due to some inevitable circumstances I opted to postponed it yet. Now I'm still here undecided what step should I'll be taking next, clueless of what in store for me in the future.
Bluntly, I am so tired of my present situation; Since my sister left for the States and I become the sole breadwinner for my Mother and my Sister and her daughters my life wasn't become as stable as before, there times that I'm broke that i don't know what to do next, I have dues that have to be paid off even if I work in a high-end hospital the compensation isn't enough to cover all the fines and bills attached to me. I have to be strong because I know I have to but I'm only human and a normal being can only take too much, and all of these are too much to bear.
I'm a well-rounded person and a God-fearing one maybe my coping mechanism works well but indefatigable works solely for superheroes and I ain't one.
During my contemplation I kept on thinking maybe the reason I am not successful in the Love aspect of my life because I have a much bigger responsibility, I have my two nieces that needs to send to school so many reasons to strive better for a good living. Just like my sister always told me its gonna be paid off I adamantly hope soon its gonna be paid off.
My hope still rekindles but sooner that light will dim and I prayed to God before that lights become dimmer let His love shines upon me. Just like what my favorite quotation said " Continue to make your life shine, to be the light and guide by others"
-Ainan
Sunday, April 25, 2010
''From a Distant Memory''
A few days ago i was browsing on Youtube and search for the song "What Good Is That Without You" little did i know it was sung by Anna Fegie and was the soundtrack of the movie ''Gimik, The Reunion" what a big coincidence that we we're talking about the remake of that now defunct hit TV series of the ninety's when i was still on duty yesterday.
Just this afternoon I watched the remake pilot episode of "Gimik 2010, The Reunion" and it was a blast from the past, i remember my childhood the good and the bad memories,a nostalgia! Truly, this series was a part of my being i enjoyed watching and patronizing every character. I still recall Dianne played by Judy Ann Santos, Ricky played by late Rico Yan, Gary, Gina, Melanie, SC, Joey and Brian. It helps me but to wonder what happened to my friends before? I still have communications with few of them but what about the others? I hope someday we conduct this so called Reunion. And i relate my
In High-school I have a group called "Amiga" comprised by three ladies and I, and some other guys. But the four of us Amiga's really had the good times. I have Amiga Girlie the pretty one, the girl whose popular to boys. There's Amiga Joan the girl with the bangs, i remember i used to borrow her cp just to text Makmak before. And lastly Amiga Carmela the one whose so petite she looks like Andrea in Monica Brava a Latin Novella star. I really miss these folks, the two of them have family now and happy being a mother while Carmela still in Dubai, sometime she called to say Hi!But we never heard from her for two years now. Last February i had dinner with Girlie and Joan and patch for the lost times we had. Its been a long eight years and the time spent with them still vivid on my mind.
In college i built another group of friends, the group was formed because we're classmates and alongside duty-mates. We've gotten a long way already, i missed our ''inuman sessions" our out of town duties. We are so many in the group, there's Michelle i consider her as my favorite friend, we are the link of the'barkada' we still have communications with our distant friend. My friend Grays whose in Lebanon now whose been our resident singer, she's the one possesses the most beautiful voice, a true diva. The two of them has been my closest i really shared everything with them, my life, my love life every detail they know. There's Eros the girl whose been our classmate for one semester but remain our friend. She never missed our get together in the Apartment our niche. She's the girl with a big boobs, and had a controversial love story. Sheryn my elite friend, she's the most ''maarte" and hard to crack but we tend to get used to her mean character. We have plenty of guy friends and the one that marked me the most is the guy named Ryan, he changed my perspective on love, and his my second love next to Mark. His totally opposite of my ideal guy but he swoon me over by his kindest and sweetness. Another guy is Rolly the nerdy one. He's the laughing stock of the boys but I'm more close to him. His the most pure and sincere to all of them. Michael the ultimate Chick-magnet he had a numerous girls during our college days. OB another Michael but we used to call him with that name, a guy whose skin is so smooth like a baby, i swear because we saw his butt and OMG so fair and smooth. He has resemblance to Jay-R the RNB prince. I have gay companions also named Jordan and Rogel, the former we had a rough times especially when he and my cousin went to a relationship but we learn to appease each other after a few years when we graduated. Rogel we had a lot of jokes and teasing, and i had fair share of ''okray'' with him.
Soon I know I'll be flying out of the country to work but I hope one of these years we had our reunion, the time spent, the tears laughter we shared are way to treasure, its part of what i've become. Hopefully when we get along I had my answer prayer with me, Him that I've longed for.
Ainan :)
Just this afternoon I watched the remake pilot episode of "Gimik 2010, The Reunion" and it was a blast from the past, i remember my childhood the good and the bad memories,a nostalgia! Truly, this series was a part of my being i enjoyed watching and patronizing every character. I still recall Dianne played by Judy Ann Santos, Ricky played by late Rico Yan, Gary, Gina, Melanie, SC, Joey and Brian. It helps me but to wonder what happened to my friends before? I still have communications with few of them but what about the others? I hope someday we conduct this so called Reunion. And i relate my
In High-school I have a group called "Amiga" comprised by three ladies and I, and some other guys. But the four of us Amiga's really had the good times. I have Amiga Girlie the pretty one, the girl whose popular to boys. There's Amiga Joan the girl with the bangs, i remember i used to borrow her cp just to text Makmak before. And lastly Amiga Carmela the one whose so petite she looks like Andrea in Monica Brava a Latin Novella star. I really miss these folks, the two of them have family now and happy being a mother while Carmela still in Dubai, sometime she called to say Hi!But we never heard from her for two years now. Last February i had dinner with Girlie and Joan and patch for the lost times we had. Its been a long eight years and the time spent with them still vivid on my mind.
In college i built another group of friends, the group was formed because we're classmates and alongside duty-mates. We've gotten a long way already, i missed our ''inuman sessions" our out of town duties. We are so many in the group, there's Michelle i consider her as my favorite friend, we are the link of the'barkada' we still have communications with our distant friend. My friend Grays whose in Lebanon now whose been our resident singer, she's the one possesses the most beautiful voice, a true diva. The two of them has been my closest i really shared everything with them, my life, my love life every detail they know. There's Eros the girl whose been our classmate for one semester but remain our friend. She never missed our get together in the Apartment our niche. She's the girl with a big boobs, and had a controversial love story. Sheryn my elite friend, she's the most ''maarte" and hard to crack but we tend to get used to her mean character. We have plenty of guy friends and the one that marked me the most is the guy named Ryan, he changed my perspective on love, and his my second love next to Mark. His totally opposite of my ideal guy but he swoon me over by his kindest and sweetness. Another guy is Rolly the nerdy one. He's the laughing stock of the boys but I'm more close to him. His the most pure and sincere to all of them. Michael the ultimate Chick-magnet he had a numerous girls during our college days. OB another Michael but we used to call him with that name, a guy whose skin is so smooth like a baby, i swear because we saw his butt and OMG so fair and smooth. He has resemblance to Jay-R the RNB prince. I have gay companions also named Jordan and Rogel, the former we had a rough times especially when he and my cousin went to a relationship but we learn to appease each other after a few years when we graduated. Rogel we had a lot of jokes and teasing, and i had fair share of ''okray'' with him.
Soon I know I'll be flying out of the country to work but I hope one of these years we had our reunion, the time spent, the tears laughter we shared are way to treasure, its part of what i've become. Hopefully when we get along I had my answer prayer with me, Him that I've longed for.
Ainan :)
Friday, April 16, 2010
So Help Me God!
This week was a roller coaster ride for me! There's an incident that happened that almost torn me apart. I never been so incompetent and irrelevant since now. Last month I had a not intended error that was not permitted on my profession, and now it looks like i had it again. I feel so incompetent that after I'm doing my best to live with the expectations of my job, the opposite thing happen, but it boils down that nobodies perfect, neither I imperfect!
Another mistake that will raised eyebrow from people whom think they know better, and I owe them my service!. I am so tired on my Unit, there's no camaraderie now, we're working for the benefit of oneself and try to mock, and assassinate each personality.So self-centered service, I want to BREAK FREE and leave this situation I'm in right now.But don't know how, maybe I know but still i can't work on it right now. Secondly, i don't feel they wanted me to be there anymore. I feel so solitary, that I'm alienated on my own workplace.
I'm strong, I know and I'm trying to be one. But I'm only human and ordinary human can only take too much. Too many stress, fatigue and negative people makes me down flat on the ground.
I want to let go all of these negativities. I try to be optimistic but sometimes it's so hard, when unwanted thing always happen. I will try to defy gravity, and I want to soar, fly high like a bird but I'm hopeless, I felt so consume with energy and will to survive. I need someone to enlighten me and I know that only Him can be my saving grace. I need my Intervention soon before i breakdown.
Ainan ;(
Another mistake that will raised eyebrow from people whom think they know better, and I owe them my service!. I am so tired on my Unit, there's no camaraderie now, we're working for the benefit of oneself and try to mock, and assassinate each personality.So self-centered service, I want to BREAK FREE and leave this situation I'm in right now.But don't know how, maybe I know but still i can't work on it right now. Secondly, i don't feel they wanted me to be there anymore. I feel so solitary, that I'm alienated on my own workplace.
I'm strong, I know and I'm trying to be one. But I'm only human and ordinary human can only take too much. Too many stress, fatigue and negative people makes me down flat on the ground.
I want to let go all of these negativities. I try to be optimistic but sometimes it's so hard, when unwanted thing always happen. I will try to defy gravity, and I want to soar, fly high like a bird but I'm hopeless, I felt so consume with energy and will to survive. I need someone to enlighten me and I know that only Him can be my saving grace. I need my Intervention soon before i breakdown.
Ainan ;(
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I Love Kris Aquino
Last Sunday i was watching "The Buzz" and i was mortified by Kris' monologue about what has been happened to her these past few weeks. People has been so cruel to her, especially during the said Ruffa Gutierrez walk-out incident. I cried over the fact that she's planning to quit show-business for awhile. She asked for her Sisters approval regarding the said matter. And the said decision is still hanging.
Kris sometimes tactless but most of the time tactful. I adore her being transparent and vocal about her feelings. She's polarizing you may love her or hate her but I'm on the loving part. What most admirable about her is that in every roller coaster issues she's in she learned something and tried to do something or changed about it. Somehow she's true about being careful on words coming out from your mouth, at times its hard for me, there times i say things that was a joke for me but for other people that's a mere assassination of characters. I'm trying to be a person of less talk, less mistakes but i can't help it, I'm a very opinionated person, i have a lot of words to say if i know i have a voice on that topic.
I learned something from Ruffa Gutierrez "never say goodbye and never burn bridges" somewhat its true, never lose communication and friendship from the people whom had been part of your life and mentor you about life's chaotic schemes. For all the people I've hurt from the ruthless words coming from me, I want to apologize and appease you by saying sorry and I'll try my best to improve my being, nobody's perfect and i am not perfect but i assure you that there's a room for improvement and I'm working on it.
Ainan :)
Kris sometimes tactless but most of the time tactful. I adore her being transparent and vocal about her feelings. She's polarizing you may love her or hate her but I'm on the loving part. What most admirable about her is that in every roller coaster issues she's in she learned something and tried to do something or changed about it. Somehow she's true about being careful on words coming out from your mouth, at times its hard for me, there times i say things that was a joke for me but for other people that's a mere assassination of characters. I'm trying to be a person of less talk, less mistakes but i can't help it, I'm a very opinionated person, i have a lot of words to say if i know i have a voice on that topic.
I learned something from Ruffa Gutierrez "never say goodbye and never burn bridges" somewhat its true, never lose communication and friendship from the people whom had been part of your life and mentor you about life's chaotic schemes. For all the people I've hurt from the ruthless words coming from me, I want to apologize and appease you by saying sorry and I'll try my best to improve my being, nobody's perfect and i am not perfect but i assure you that there's a room for improvement and I'm working on it.
Ainan :)
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