"A Glimpse from the Past"

Last October 17, 2009 i was granted my first VL (vacation leave) for 11 days, these leaves are given for associate whose one year in service, lucky me, i chose to have it then. There's nothing unusual done i just had a total 8 hours sleep, a nap time, and a full meal. The only thing i decided to do was "DVD Marathon" i chose Sailormoon series to be the subject.

I remember i first watch this anime' way back 1991 and continued patronizing it until the last episode shown at ABC 5, if memory serves me that was 2003 or 2004. It was I and my twin cousins Mitchell and Michael enjoyed it, I was playing Sailorpluto then.

When i first watched the episode 1 during my DVD marathon, i haven't remember the story then until i went to episodes 4 and kept on watching. I couldn't help but continuously watch it, i felt the nostalgia sets in the memories of my childhood, the fond memories i have shared with my cousins, the days i waited for Saturday because its sailor moon day.

What really strikes me and made me realized now is that the story wasn't just about the sailor warriors fighting for love and justice, it also tackles an undying love just like Romeo & Juliet.

Princess Serenity & Prince Endymion love defies all odds. I was captured and teary-eyed when i found out their link on the story, it was quite witty and clever. I was so touched and felt the undying love.

I know you might laugh or found my entry irrelevant but if you've watched the series i know somehow you might find the same feeling i felt from SAILORMOON.

Ainan

"When Catastrophe Came"

Last September 26, 2009 will be marked on our country's history due to typhoon Ondoy's wrath, the metropolis was submerged to flood and mud because of the nine hours continuous rain. I myself experienced being stranded at Valenzuela City because i attended my friend's birthday party. I was trapped for one day, there we're no vehicles passing by because even a Bus was submerged to flood. Fortunately, we have foods although the electricity went out.

That was really a devastating experience, it was a lost of many lives not to mention material things and ways of living. I saw captured pictures and videos of the whole metropolis and the metro manila i have known was converted into an ocean in just a glimpse. It was really a tragedy all of us Filipinos would have never forget.

What really pains me and brought me to tears was when i read about a Korean comment on a blog in the "Twitter" and i quote " Have you heard the news?!The monkey island Philippines is flooded. I hope the rain will never stop to drown those monkeys". All of them are laughing, another one said "They will all die because monkeys cant swim". That was a cruel comment knowing that it came from a neighboring country. We Filipinos have been hospitable and love the Korean for their Telenovelas. I myself had a Korean friend when i was studying nursing and i was been so good to her, i was the only one talking and explaining everything to her.

On a lighter note, i was delighted by the overflowing of supports and financial aide from other countries. I was moved when i saw some Hollywood celebrities who used the Twitter to asked for support whole over the world. There were Demi & Ashton Kutcher, Alyssa Milano and Josh Groban to name a few. These shows that all of us is human, and we do need each other. Hope this coming Christmas will help to alleviate some loneliness and emptiness the past chaos brought.

Ainan ;(

Long Overdue

It's been 3 months since my last entry, there so many times I've tried to write an entry of all the things that had happened to me. There's been a lot of summer outing, a heartbreak, falling in love again, plenty of night outs and even pollutants of life.

I miss blogging a lot, here i can express all my thoughts, all my feelings that i need to express that i cannot open up with my friends. I have missed a lot especially Chris Tiu's blog that i have been a patron. I went too many places these past few months, i have been to Puerto Galera with my co-associate at St. Lukes, and the former anawangin gurls is now converted to puerto galera girls... I really enjoyed the seashore, especially the snorkeling we had, it seems like i was a mermaid on my past life. We enjoyed the boating and the island hopping. It was a surreal experience another hallmark of my life. I do have the pictures just try to visit my Facebook account thru the name "Ainan Igaya" just search it if you do have the time.

Aside from outing, i have a lots of night outs, i went to timog to tomas morato up to valenzuela for our monthly update with my college friends. And I'm sad to say the alcoholic content of my body is equal to the water content, just kidding. But i do have enough share of happy moments.
And i have a lot of fair share of emptied and emotionally imbalance moments.

I suffered a tremendous heartbreaks that leads me to bring back the inner "Queen Bee" in me, i didn't mean to be harsh to everyone but i need to protect myself from all those people who tried to tie you down. Everyday we we're surrounded by people, fake and untrue its a matter of analyzing who is who. Right now, i even made another mistake, falling in love again to someone who has a girlfriend. Again, i cannot count how many times i fell to someone who already had a special someone.

What pains me more is the thought that i couldn't express my feelings for some reasons. Prudence dictates me that i have to save a piece of me to prevent myself for having a troubled heart again. I want to share who the guy is, but I'm saving it for my next entry...

Ainan

"Mixed Emotions"

This past few days, i was struck with whirlwinds of emotions. Last week i was happy being single, contented just by reading 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye" but after work i started to felt wasted and tired. I was drained physically and emotionally i always invested too much energy and efforts to work, thanks! God I'm still in tough shaped.

Before i was not affected with national issues that much, but as i grow and mature I'm able to digest my part in this society, even as a normal individual. I was stressed when i saw the news of the three "INRC" captives by Abu Sayaf whom they planned to cut their head-off if the government didn't give in to their demands. As a member of the health team it pains me to know that these terrorist doesn't show mercy to think that their captives are known for helping victims of war, and so on and so forth. On a lighter note, i was happy to hear that their plans are not executed and the INRC members are still safe & sound.

Another issues that bothers me was that Hongkong National a columnist who commented on a magazine that our native country is a nation of servants. That was quite pathetic and out of line. I acknowledge the fact that many workers outside the country are domestic helpers but i didn't see wrong with it. I as a Filipino was deeply hurt by that statement, it leaves a scar in the heart. I think those narrowed minded people should immerse here in the country for them to realized and recognized the hidden talents and magnificent skills we possessed, Filipinos are great hospitable and culture oriented people. I think we're one of the kindest people in the world.

I hope i sounded lucid... I am so damn tired and needed a break!!!

Ainan

"Life Goes On"

Some people say when it rains it pours, its true in so many facets of life. There are times when you've experienced happiness you thought that wouldn't end and vice-versa. And when you experienced tide in your life you would wish it would end but it continuously clouding your life and losing all the thread of hope you had. I never tell myself I'm a strong person instead i always tell myself that I'm not alone in this battle that someone is fighting with me.

Being a nurse, i saw many people who draw their strenght and fate above. I saw many tears flowing from people whose hopes diminished and almost gave-up on their battle. I never understood them, they say we need "empathy" not sympathy. As a growing up individual i won so many battles, flopped many times but i struggled to stand up again. But the more successful you were on that battle a much difficult one will arise.

I read this quote on a book " God's in His heaven so all's right in the world", at first i was skeptical and i felt ambiguous because i couldn't digest the meaning of the verse. Until i experienced something that almost put me to tears, have you ever experienced something that when you woke up everything seems to be wrong, and at the end of the day all you've done was a mess. You always committed mistakes you couldn't afford. That situation was awful, i felt trapped, abandoned, irrelevant. Until i realized something, that i was forgetting something and someone who has been my companion since time immemorial. I went back to his place and talked to Him about my complains, about my predicaments, and guess what?! He listened, all of a sudden everything went OK!

I think that's what you call "Divine Intervention". There's a rainbow after the rain, and Life goes on and on..

Ainan :)

My PundaQuit And Anawangin Escapade

At the first week of February, luckily i had a double-off break from duty. My very good friend and Co-staff Ma'am Anj texted me if i wanted to joined them to Cabanatuan. So immediately i accepted the invitation because i don't have anything to do. On the day itself i found out that the plan was changed and we're about to go to subic instead, then i remembered that subic was near to Zambales that's why i suggested we went to Pundaquit at San Antonio, Zambales. I have been there last 2006 and i enjoyed the almost white sand and the crystal clear water, and of course the much cheaper rate than other beaches around the archipelago.

We travel at around lunch time and because Ma'am Anj & Jem we're from night duty they fell asleep the whole three-hour ride. Its' only four of us came Anin, Anj, Jemely and a very dear friend of Jem's named Chris. When we arrived at San Antonio we bought the food we needed for two days, luckily they had a mini market place that has almost everything you needed. We rented a cottage suits for eight people and we got it for a nice price, mind you i spent 900+ for the whole adventure including the transportation.

The first thing we did was cooked the food for the evening, i cooked the rice and helped Mare Anj grilled the tilapia, we ate it with salty eggs, fresh mangoes with tomatoes and bagoong alamang. It was so festive. When we went swam at around 5:00 in the afternoon the sunset was perfect and its time for the picture taking... The water was so refreshing and i heard some famous celebrities went here for surfing and Jericho Rosales was one of them.

After dinner we conducted the drinking session together with the sing-along mode of videoke. We talked about everything, love, boys, problems we had shared everything and consumed a whole case of redhorse. The singing session was great Chris is a good singer and we're all have fun till 2 Am.

The next day a nice friend of Chris came during breakfast, Ate Mel brought some boiled-corns that was so delicious. The caretaker asked if we wanted to go to "Anawangin" and we decided to go. We rented a boat and enjoyed the boat ride, it was a feast in the eyes to see all the islands and the serene water, we didn't know what Anawangin is going to bring us. When we arrived at the place i was tongue-tied the beach is so beatiful, it's secluded and you consider a virgin island. It has Pine trees like Baguo, it has white-powdered sand like Boracay and a crystal-clear water. I

felt so at peace on the place, there were foreigners at the place. We had a blast at Anawangin.

Back to Pundaquit, we went Mountain Climbing at a near mountain. The summit was superb. it was tiring but nice experienced. The two days was not enough for all the things you can do at Pundaquit, Ate Mel kindly brought us a ride to the terminal unluckily the next trip was at around 11:00, so she decided that we went sight seeing inside Subic Bay Metropolitan Zone, we visited the fort that houses the US Naval Ship and stroll along Subic Bay. Much to our surprised she brought us to Pier 1 and paid us a dinner. So kind and sweet of her. We dance all night and groove along with the Pier 1 band. I even caught a 6 Feet tall guy along with a foreigner, he seemingly look like Hua Zi Lei of F4, his maybe a high-class call boy but i loved how he played billiards and i like his side glances, i remembered when the band sang "Bakit ngayon Ka Lang" we stared at each other and simultaneously uttered the words. It was so sweet... I really had a good time and promise that when my honeymoon arrives I'll surely go back to Zambales..

Ainan :)

"WHY DO PEOPLE TEND TO BE AESTHETICS?"

I admit i am one of those shallow people who value the outside appearance than the inside. But that was before when I'm still immature. But right now i know that the inside matters the most. Maybe, you'll raised an eyebrow because this is a pure cliche' but i had a better realization today why this planet called 'earth' we're living is quite unfair.

I had always told everyone that my defenses towards love and emotional attachment was intact, i was correct a few months ago, but today if you'd ask me?! I'm a totally vulnerable individual. i know myself better now, and i examined every emotional signs or changes I'm manifesting whether I'm in love, down, torn or broken. And these past few days was not new for me. Cold lonely nights attacking me right now, though literally the weather is cold due to post Christmas blues. I read on a book and some people advised me that have enough positivity and optimism inside, be complete and happy inside because it attracts more than a beautiful aesthetic outside. That's what i believe in and living since time immemorial but there we're inevitable circumstances that will shatter your dreams apart.

Last week i received an sms message from a very dear friend of mine who haven't got in touch for a year, her name was Mau, she said that she gave my number to a guy named Ervin a cousin of her boyfriend, since i was duty then and told i have to extend an extra eight hours to work, i had a frenzied and frantic mind that Mau message didn't sink in that much. I said "it's OK! go ahead" then in return she gave the guys' number. A few days later i haven't received any messages, so i assumed maybe his not interested, and that night i opened my friendster account and saw a guy named Jan who just visited my account together with some others, i also remembered that i gave Mau my e-mail so that guy can sneak to my account, problem is i have a private profile so he couldn't scrutinize my profile that easily. The following day i texted the guy and replied he was too tipsy that he can't text right that moment and promised to send an sms later, it went for a day and no response, until i sent a quotation and he replied during that time i was online and said i will invite him on FS, so in short he had an access on my account.

We switched plenty of sms and i thought we're OK, until the next day, i haven't heard or received anything from him. I texted him and responded that his doing a laundry right now, what i captured from that message that he was kinda irritated maybe on my message or because i texted him. That afternoon, Mau and I had a chance to talk for a bit and told her my predicaments and prediction that maybe the guy was kinda disappointed, maybe he doesn't like my outward appearance or my being to feminine or gay. But as pride dictates, i told her it's OK that I'm not rushing things up, and as for me i really do deserve a much better person.

Mind you guys, that Ervin was cute, quite a catch but he's too physical. I'm not being bitter or sour-graping but i was kinda disappointed on life. Because, life is so unfair. i had a very balance life, i mean i had a better outlook inside and out, but right now i felt insecure and not secure with myself anymore. I feel unpretty and unwanted. I hate the guy for being so prejudice, hope life gives him a good karma. This is one of the reasons why i don't want to fall in love again, I'm so numb with the pain and my heart was so, so crushed and stomped into pieces. Life is unfair, to people who only wants a simple and happy life, life complicates a simple living and a simple individual like me.

Ainan ;(

The Review ( what has been for me in 2008)

The year 2008 was a tremendous and wonderful year for me and my family, i was successful in my career and lucky all year round. Hopefully this year, like Kristine Hermosa said, this will be our year 2009, we're both born September 9, and i was born on the year of the Ox so i wished all the stars will be by my side. So here is a run down of what had happened to me last year;

• January- i took the clinical exam at TMC and got flopped for the first time in my life, first failed exam since i entered school, so depressing but i took it as a benchmark to strive better.
• February- i was called by Our lady of Mercy (Pulilan) to trained as a staff, I've spent almost two months there and gathered so much knowledge and built new harmonious relationships, i was the first one to be hired but something life changing happened.
• March- SLMC ( St. Luke's Medical Center) texted me that i passed their clinical exam and i'm on my way for the P.E, i left Mercy but had a better choice. I had almost a month relationship with Richard, and i ended the relationship due to self-preservation.
• April- i joined the NSET ( Nurse Staff Effectiveness Training) trainees of SLMC and had training for 3 months and gained 25 new friends.
• June- i graduated the training and at the day of the commencement exercise and yours truly was one of the emcees, something inevitable happened. The Vp-DON walked out because we failed to acknowledge her presence at the start of the program.
• August- i was joined the ISF ( Induction to SLMC Family) and later on took the Customer Service Champion training, during the ISF i was fell for MR. Richard Magsalin my BLS instructor, sadly we lose connection later that year. And at August 21, it was my first UAAP experienced, i watched ADMU vs. UE and it was a thrilling game, i was happy to see Chris Tiu for the first time.
• September- at 4th day of September i was hired to be an associate of SLMC and had been a part of Annex 3 2nd-East, 6 out of 15 who was called for ISF was hired and luckily i was one of them.
• November- i was temporarily relocated to Eye care Unit together with Jarine, we had a wonderful experienced, i gained new friends, Ma'am Charles my favourite (kakulitan) and of course who would forget Jayson Valencia, who hadn't missed a chance to teased me, but had a big part in my heart later that year.
• December- it was my first time to had a duty on Christmas eve, but enjoyed it. i had attended 3 Christmas parties. And lastly, before the year end i celebrated the new year with a broken heart courtesy of Jayson....tsktsk

What a year, it was so fast that i haven't noticed the time. So many things happened. And so many blessings came to thanked for. Hopefully, this year much more blessings, much more friends, and hope to find the "ONE".

Ainan :)