My PundaQuit And Anawangin Escapade

At the first week of February, luckily i had a double-off break from duty. My very good friend and Co-staff Ma'am Anj texted me if i wanted to joined them to Cabanatuan. So immediately i accepted the invitation because i don't have anything to do. On the day itself i found out that the plan was changed and we're about to go to subic instead, then i remembered that subic was near to Zambales that's why i suggested we went to Pundaquit at San Antonio, Zambales. I have been there last 2006 and i enjoyed the almost white sand and the crystal clear water, and of course the much cheaper rate than other beaches around the archipelago.

We travel at around lunch time and because Ma'am Anj & Jem we're from night duty they fell asleep the whole three-hour ride. Its' only four of us came Anin, Anj, Jemely and a very dear friend of Jem's named Chris. When we arrived at San Antonio we bought the food we needed for two days, luckily they had a mini market place that has almost everything you needed. We rented a cottage suits for eight people and we got it for a nice price, mind you i spent 900+ for the whole adventure including the transportation.

The first thing we did was cooked the food for the evening, i cooked the rice and helped Mare Anj grilled the tilapia, we ate it with salty eggs, fresh mangoes with tomatoes and bagoong alamang. It was so festive. When we went swam at around 5:00 in the afternoon the sunset was perfect and its time for the picture taking... The water was so refreshing and i heard some famous celebrities went here for surfing and Jericho Rosales was one of them.

After dinner we conducted the drinking session together with the sing-along mode of videoke. We talked about everything, love, boys, problems we had shared everything and consumed a whole case of redhorse. The singing session was great Chris is a good singer and we're all have fun till 2 Am.

The next day a nice friend of Chris came during breakfast, Ate Mel brought some boiled-corns that was so delicious. The caretaker asked if we wanted to go to "Anawangin" and we decided to go. We rented a boat and enjoyed the boat ride, it was a feast in the eyes to see all the islands and the serene water, we didn't know what Anawangin is going to bring us. When we arrived at the place i was tongue-tied the beach is so beatiful, it's secluded and you consider a virgin island. It has Pine trees like Baguo, it has white-powdered sand like Boracay and a crystal-clear water. I

felt so at peace on the place, there were foreigners at the place. We had a blast at Anawangin.

Back to Pundaquit, we went Mountain Climbing at a near mountain. The summit was superb. it was tiring but nice experienced. The two days was not enough for all the things you can do at Pundaquit, Ate Mel kindly brought us a ride to the terminal unluckily the next trip was at around 11:00, so she decided that we went sight seeing inside Subic Bay Metropolitan Zone, we visited the fort that houses the US Naval Ship and stroll along Subic Bay. Much to our surprised she brought us to Pier 1 and paid us a dinner. So kind and sweet of her. We dance all night and groove along with the Pier 1 band. I even caught a 6 Feet tall guy along with a foreigner, he seemingly look like Hua Zi Lei of F4, his maybe a high-class call boy but i loved how he played billiards and i like his side glances, i remembered when the band sang "Bakit ngayon Ka Lang" we stared at each other and simultaneously uttered the words. It was so sweet... I really had a good time and promise that when my honeymoon arrives I'll surely go back to Zambales..

Ainan :)

"WHY DO PEOPLE TEND TO BE AESTHETICS?"

I admit i am one of those shallow people who value the outside appearance than the inside. But that was before when I'm still immature. But right now i know that the inside matters the most. Maybe, you'll raised an eyebrow because this is a pure cliche' but i had a better realization today why this planet called 'earth' we're living is quite unfair.

I had always told everyone that my defenses towards love and emotional attachment was intact, i was correct a few months ago, but today if you'd ask me?! I'm a totally vulnerable individual. i know myself better now, and i examined every emotional signs or changes I'm manifesting whether I'm in love, down, torn or broken. And these past few days was not new for me. Cold lonely nights attacking me right now, though literally the weather is cold due to post Christmas blues. I read on a book and some people advised me that have enough positivity and optimism inside, be complete and happy inside because it attracts more than a beautiful aesthetic outside. That's what i believe in and living since time immemorial but there we're inevitable circumstances that will shatter your dreams apart.

Last week i received an sms message from a very dear friend of mine who haven't got in touch for a year, her name was Mau, she said that she gave my number to a guy named Ervin a cousin of her boyfriend, since i was duty then and told i have to extend an extra eight hours to work, i had a frenzied and frantic mind that Mau message didn't sink in that much. I said "it's OK! go ahead" then in return she gave the guys' number. A few days later i haven't received any messages, so i assumed maybe his not interested, and that night i opened my friendster account and saw a guy named Jan who just visited my account together with some others, i also remembered that i gave Mau my e-mail so that guy can sneak to my account, problem is i have a private profile so he couldn't scrutinize my profile that easily. The following day i texted the guy and replied he was too tipsy that he can't text right that moment and promised to send an sms later, it went for a day and no response, until i sent a quotation and he replied during that time i was online and said i will invite him on FS, so in short he had an access on my account.

We switched plenty of sms and i thought we're OK, until the next day, i haven't heard or received anything from him. I texted him and responded that his doing a laundry right now, what i captured from that message that he was kinda irritated maybe on my message or because i texted him. That afternoon, Mau and I had a chance to talk for a bit and told her my predicaments and prediction that maybe the guy was kinda disappointed, maybe he doesn't like my outward appearance or my being to feminine or gay. But as pride dictates, i told her it's OK that I'm not rushing things up, and as for me i really do deserve a much better person.

Mind you guys, that Ervin was cute, quite a catch but he's too physical. I'm not being bitter or sour-graping but i was kinda disappointed on life. Because, life is so unfair. i had a very balance life, i mean i had a better outlook inside and out, but right now i felt insecure and not secure with myself anymore. I feel unpretty and unwanted. I hate the guy for being so prejudice, hope life gives him a good karma. This is one of the reasons why i don't want to fall in love again, I'm so numb with the pain and my heart was so, so crushed and stomped into pieces. Life is unfair, to people who only wants a simple and happy life, life complicates a simple living and a simple individual like me.

Ainan ;(

The Review ( what has been for me in 2008)

The year 2008 was a tremendous and wonderful year for me and my family, i was successful in my career and lucky all year round. Hopefully this year, like Kristine Hermosa said, this will be our year 2009, we're both born September 9, and i was born on the year of the Ox so i wished all the stars will be by my side. So here is a run down of what had happened to me last year;

• January- i took the clinical exam at TMC and got flopped for the first time in my life, first failed exam since i entered school, so depressing but i took it as a benchmark to strive better.
• February- i was called by Our lady of Mercy (Pulilan) to trained as a staff, I've spent almost two months there and gathered so much knowledge and built new harmonious relationships, i was the first one to be hired but something life changing happened.
• March- SLMC ( St. Luke's Medical Center) texted me that i passed their clinical exam and i'm on my way for the P.E, i left Mercy but had a better choice. I had almost a month relationship with Richard, and i ended the relationship due to self-preservation.
• April- i joined the NSET ( Nurse Staff Effectiveness Training) trainees of SLMC and had training for 3 months and gained 25 new friends.
• June- i graduated the training and at the day of the commencement exercise and yours truly was one of the emcees, something inevitable happened. The Vp-DON walked out because we failed to acknowledge her presence at the start of the program.
• August- i was joined the ISF ( Induction to SLMC Family) and later on took the Customer Service Champion training, during the ISF i was fell for MR. Richard Magsalin my BLS instructor, sadly we lose connection later that year. And at August 21, it was my first UAAP experienced, i watched ADMU vs. UE and it was a thrilling game, i was happy to see Chris Tiu for the first time.
• September- at 4th day of September i was hired to be an associate of SLMC and had been a part of Annex 3 2nd-East, 6 out of 15 who was called for ISF was hired and luckily i was one of them.
• November- i was temporarily relocated to Eye care Unit together with Jarine, we had a wonderful experienced, i gained new friends, Ma'am Charles my favourite (kakulitan) and of course who would forget Jayson Valencia, who hadn't missed a chance to teased me, but had a big part in my heart later that year.
• December- it was my first time to had a duty on Christmas eve, but enjoyed it. i had attended 3 Christmas parties. And lastly, before the year end i celebrated the new year with a broken heart courtesy of Jayson....tsktsk

What a year, it was so fast that i haven't noticed the time. So many things happened. And so many blessings came to thanked for. Hopefully, this year much more blessings, much more friends, and hope to find the "ONE".

Ainan :)

"In Loving Memory of Marky Cielo"

Last Sunday the whole country was shocked and devastated about a text message that circulated that the young actor and Starstruck "Sole Survivor" Marky Cielo was found dead on their Antipolo's abode that morning during the world renowned match of Manny Pacquiao and Oscar Dela Hoya.

That Sunday we we're preparing for our Christmas Party together with my housemates that was held at "Providence" in Vito Cruz near DLSU and adjacent to St. Benilde. We we're watching Showbiz Central and Katrina Halili was interviewed and he sent his condolences to Marky's loved ones. At first it didn't sink it in my mind until Pia guanio did the same, until my housemate received an sms telling the not so good news. Though I'm not a fan i felt the lost for the industry, i heard a lot of good things about the guy, i really admire him for being an advocate of youth, a clean living life without vices. It pains me to know that the country loses a great and humble actor and a beloved son, friend and an admirable icon for his fan.

Some rumors circulated that the guy committed suicide but the autopsy shows if I'm not mistaken that he died from SUNDs (Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death) or medically speaking

"Acute Hemorrhagic Pancreatitis" the same reason of Rico Yan's death.

So many young precious celebrities died, but they still remembered, the like i mention, Rico Yan, Julie Vega and many more, i also remembers Selena the Mexican singer who brought us the timeless classics like "Dreaming Of You" and "I Could Fall In Love".

I'm sure wherever Marky Cielo is now, he's happy and hopefully peaceful. As for me i will remember this young boy for the superb dancing skills and wonderful vibe and spirit he had.

Ainan :)

"Another Lesson Learned"

After so many Jurassic years i am sharing some thoughts that i am contemplating right now. I was finished reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and on the process reading "Chicken Soup For the Unsinkable Soul" i was into reading again not just for pastime but i really do learned a lot.





I was temporarily relocated to Ophthalmology Unit for about two weeks now, and still adjusting on the new set-up. Thank, God he made me a very flexible person and pliable that i can get along to every people you placed on my path. The last Night duty i had on Annex 3-2nd East was really unforgettable, i had a girl patient aged 26 whom when i was received during endorsement had 80/50 mmHg Blood pressure, i was doing titration on her Dobutamine ( a drug that increases blood pressure and heart rate) to made her stable but at 2 o'clock in the morning she had cardiac arrest so i call for "Code Red" a typical Greys Anatomy scene where the medical team trying to revived the patient. There we're some Doctor's Ambu-bagging, some were doing cardiac compression and some were suctioning, for me being the nurse had very crucial role i was the one handing off equipments, gave them emergency drugs like epinephrine, sodium bicarbonate so on and so forth. If you think I was a Pro during that time, you're wrong because it was my first time and it was kinda confusing, after that arrest the patient became stable but after 30 minutes or so she had an arrest and expired after our tremendous efforts to kept her alive. I learned so much after that, and i was thankful to my co-staff for helping me and guiding me through that chaotic moment, they even shared some of my pending task for the continuity of care. If you're planning to become a nurse those situation will test your critical thinking, speed rate, knowledge. That was quite an experience.





Last November 29, My sister and i had a day out, she accompanied me to Divisoria to bought some gifts for this holiday to all my "inaanak" and nephews and nieces. After the long tiring walk and shopping from different malls and stalls, we went to Trinoma because I had promised her that I will treat her out on a movie because it was her birthday last 25th. When we got there, i was quite fascinated on the long lines of people who were planning to watched Twilight and three cinemas already jam packed. We ended up watching "One True Love" featuring Dingdong Dantes and Marianne Rivera, at first don't account me as "baduy" or "jologs" but patronizing your own isn't a crime right?. I may say the movie was half good half OK, not that great but it has substance and sense.





I learned new thing about love, Marianne was right when she said the line "In love, you don't have to do anything to impress the person or to get his attention, you don't have to kneel or beg for some one's love; you don't have to changed yourself" Be yourself, that's all you can do, he must love you for your nothingness not for he wanted you to be. Love is respect, so he must learned to respect you and not to demand to change you or for you to do everything he wanted.


If the person you love didn't like you for who you are, just go he's not the one our Lord made for you, the person must love you for who the real you in pure black and white





Ainan :)

"Why People tend to be Single"

Here’s a forwarded message I recently got from a stranger. I don’t know about you, but I can honestly relate with everything written here. Ok, let’s crack up…sana makarelate ka…….
11. Destiny AdikEto yung mga naghihintay kay “Destiny” na gumawa ng paraan para pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga “partner in life”.. ayannn… kakapanood nyo ng “Serendipity” eh feeling nyo ang nangyari sa movie eh mangyayari rin sa inyo… such a cliche.. hindi ba nyo alam na kung walang effort destiny is useless.
10. Perfectionist/ MapiliYes, isang taong perpeksiyonista. Yung tipong “dapat ganito ang magiging kapartner ko”. Pag may nakilala, nakita lang na pangit ang kuko o may dumi lang, turn-off na agad. O kaya ang daming ayaw. Ayaw sa mabait, boring daw, gusto bad boy/ pilya pero kapag pinaiyak ka tatanungin ka “bakit ang sama mo”, “bakit mo nagawa yun!”… Adik ka ba?!… Ayaw sa cute, ayaw din naman sa panget. Meron dyan gusto ka ayaw mo naman.. yung gusto mo halos magtambling ka pero deadma pa rin yang stunts mo sa kanya! Pasaway ka rin e! Ano ba talaga?
9. Busy BusyhanOpo, eto yung ang mundo e gumagalaw lang sa libro at ballpen kung estudyante ka o kaya naman sa computer at files kung office staff ka. Yung tipong aalis ng bahay ng alas 6 o alas 7 ng umaga at uuwi ng bahay ng 6 hanggang alas 8 ng gabi [baligtad naman para sa mga nag tratrabaho sa call center]. Sabay tulog na. Kapag sabado masaya na sila sa tv, sa pagkain na niluluto ni mama at sa linggo naman sisimba at maghahanda na ng kelangan para sa lunes hanggang byernes. Pssssst.. pause for a while naman!
8. Friendship TheoryAno naman ito?… Eto yung ang buhay ay kay bestfriend o kaya kay special friend, na hindi masabi-sabi sa friendship nya sa loob ng kanilang mahabang panahon na pagsasama, dahil baka daw maapektuhan ang pakikipagkaibigan at iwasan sya. Yung tipong pag may kasama si friendship na iba, nagseselos na wala naman sa lugar, pero syempre wag pahalata, kunyari happy sya for friendship. ABA! Oi! Lakasan mo ang loob mo at baka mamaya forever mong pagsisihan yan, kaw rin!… Minsan pa naman pareho pala kayong naghihintayan. . hmmp!
7. Born-to-be-one (Autistic)Eto yung nasa palad na ang pagiging single daw. Walang reasons. Basta lang nabuhay sya sa mundo na mag-isa at feeling nya mamamatay sya sa mundong mag-isa. Kesyo magmamadre o magpapari na lang… Asa kang tatanggapin ka pa noh!
6. Happy-go-luckyEto yung taong walang alam kundi kasiyahan at trippings. Kahit sino na lang basta no string attached. For fun lang daw… Walang halong seryosohan. hoy! Yang init ng katawan mo e ikiskis mo na lang sa pader. Makakahanap ka rin ng katapat mo!!!
5. Wrong PlaceMay nakaranas na ba nito? Yung pakiramdam mo nasa ibang mundo ka. Yung ang nakakaharap mo e yung mga hindi mo gusto, yung mga hindi mo hinahanap. Alam mo yun? Halimbawa nasa ibang bansa ka, pero ang hinahanap mo e yung amoy ng nasa sariling bayan mo. O kaya naman e nasa sarili mong bayan ka, nasa normal na lipunan, pero ikaw ang abnormal at hindi mo kayang sabihin na abnormal din ang hanap mo kung ayaw mong ibitin ka nila ng patiwarik.
4. Wrong TimeEto yung mga tao na sinasabi na “hindi pa ako ready e, bata pa kasi ako” o kaya naman “hindi pa ako handa sa panahong ito”, “wala pa ako kayang ipagmalaki”. Yes meron pong ganyan. Yung feeling nila may tamang panahon para sa love. Awwwwwww!… Aba kelan yun?!… Pag uugod-ugod ka na at yung time mo e bitin na? O baka naman pag pang-out of time ka na? Oist, sugod lang ng sugod!
3. Si Parents kasi…Yes, factor din ang komyunidad na ginagalawan mo. Una, ayaw pa ni mader o pader na magkaron ka kahit 22 anyos ka na at kelangan umabot ka muna raw ng 40 bago magkaroon ng gf/bf. O kaya naman ikaw mismo! Takot sa sasabihin ni parents at ni kapitbahay na tsismosa sa magiging kasama mo. Aba ikaw na nga ba ang sabihan na “Alam mo hindi kayo bagay. Langit at lupa kayo.” Awwwww!… Payo ko sayo, “Pakialam nila diba?… Palibhasa inggit!”
2. Traumatic ExperienceEto kalimitan ang reason ng marami. “Ayaw kona!!! Takot na ako mangyari pa ang nangyari dati!”… O diba, ang drama ng layp?… Yes, tama ka. Eto yung dahil sa past relationship mo, e until now aayaw mo nang magkaroon at sinumpa mo na ata ang magmahal. Dahil sa pinagpalit ka sa mas pangit, o kaya naman iniwan ka ng walang word na bye-bye, o dahil binugbog ka!, anopa ba?… Madami yan wag na nating isa- isahin at baka tumulo si tears, heheh… Gayunpaman, eto lang masasabi ko mga hija at hijo… Ibat-iba ang lasa ng pag-ibig. May mapait, may mapakla, may matamis at may maasim. Aba, mapalad ka at natikman mo ang ibat- ibang lasa nito! Kaya ikaw, “Do not be afraid to fall in love again… malay mo, sweetiness na ang malasahan mo next time.! E di panalo ka sa lotto! Yan ang nagpapalakas sayo… Yan ang bumubuhay sayo… ang pag-ibig. Tsk! Drama!
1. EX to the Nth powerOi, aminin!!! LOVE pa rin si Ex kahit 1 or 2 yrs na ang nakakalipas. May ganito naman. Yung tipong ilang taon na ang nakakalipas, hindi pa rin makalimutan si ex. Yung pinagsamahan, yung tawanan, yung iyakan, at lahat ng nangyari sa inyo nung kayo pa. Malungkot man at sa kung anumang kadahilanan, maganda man o masama ito, kelangan nyo ng magpaalam sa isa’t-isa… YES, after a year sasabihin natin, “I’m over him/her na.”, pero pag-usapan natin ang love at ang nangyari sa ating relastionship from the past, TADANNNNNNNNNNNNN, eto na, sya agad ang naalala mo. At habang nagkukwento ka OUCH! may kirot, o kaya may ngiti at may bumabagabag sa iyong kalooban. Ano kaya yun?!… AMININ mo na kasi, MAHAL mo pa siEX… Isa lang ang masasabi ko, well, mahirap sya kalimutan alam ko yan, pero open your heart and makipagdate ka, lumabas ka, at try to entertain someone. Wag mo ikumpara si ex sa iba. At give urself a KITKAT, take a break………

The New Look (being blonde)

I don't know if this is applicable to boys but i know that when girls are broken and down they tend to change their looks, their outward appearance. They cut their hair short, dye their hair, buy new clothes, change the whole appearance. Maybe its a form of reviving or renewing yourself after that bitter past.

In my case, I've been semi-kalbo for three times, i remember the first time i did that, because i was torn apart from my first love, it was disconcerting at that time because i received overwhelming feedback. There were some people who was happy and contented on what i did, and some who didn't like the change. But, nonetheless i was blissful about it and did it three times.

Now, the major overhauled i did, surprisingly! i dyed my hair, i complement it with my eye color, which is naturally brown. They said i looked like a foreigner because of my fair complexion, i was happy about the result, worthy of all the efforts i exerted. The reason i made a sudden change was first i consider it as an anti-stress and secondly to conceal my status quo for about a year, you know what i mean being 'single' maybe trying to attract potential preys, lols.

Changing your looks every six months is refreshing, it ends the monotony of your routine life. Before i always felt inferior and Unpretty, but since i regain my confidence and boost my self-esteem,I'm not just flaunting what i have I'm claiming my place. "We are beautiful no matter what they say, just believe in yourself and be confident on what you have right now"