"Nostalgia or Melancholia?"

Its been four months since i went back to Bulacan. I've been busy with work, and some inevitable stuff. Being at home again brought me peace of mind and time to rejuvenate and recuperate. truly, there's no place like home. Although, nothing changed but the fresh air and the joy of being with the company and comforts of your family, kept me felt better.

I forgot to wrote that i came from San Rafael, bulacan. Actually, not that far from manila a one-hour ride away from metropolis. I went home because i need to fetch my mother and nephew back to manila for a week vacation. On the way back to manila, we took an ordinary bus because my mother has motion sickness or in medical term 'vertigo' when on a vehicle. Being on that bus brought back so many memories, its been five or six years since i rode an ordinary type of bus. Maybe, i miss all the pollution, and the noise of all those vendors who sell (chicharon, pinipig, and candies). I remember when i was young we used to took this vehicle, but when i started College i preferred the Aircon one. Not just being 'maarte' but the comfort it brings.

Maybe, things changed a lot. Even a month brings a lot of change. Everyday the world is changing, what i learned is appreciate everything you have right now, and treasure all the memories you had. And if you have the time go back to those places that made you happy, and sentimental to you. So this sounds nostalgic?! isn't it...lols.

Ainan

"18 LOVE QUESTIONS''

I found this questionnaire posted on my bulletin at my Friendster account; If you like it, you can repost it. enjoy...:)


if you opened it, you have to do it,or a loved 1 will be in an accident.

Love Survey: You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY!!-

[01] Are you currently in a relationship?
:nope, not yet.

[02] Have you ever been given a rose?
:yes.

[03] What is your all-time favorite love story movie?
:my sassy girl.

[04] Are you in love right now?
:i don't think so, I'm numb right now.

[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate?
:yes!

[06] What's your current problem?
:adjusting to work scheds,and working environment.

[07] Have you ever had your heartbroken?
: all the time.

[08] Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships?
:as long as you can keep the love alive.

[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
:yes. yes. yes.

[10] The person your with right now,do you want to spend your life with?
:i haven't found the one.

[11] How many kids do you want to have?
:one or two are enough.

[12] What is/are & your favorite color?
:red, powder blue, magenta.

[13] Who are your celebrity crushes?
: CHRISTOPHER JOHN ALANDY-DY TIU

[14] Do you believe you truly only love once?
: nope.

[15] Imagine you're 40 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
:i don't think so. i love deeply.

[16] Do you believe in love at first sight?:
yes.

[17] What song u want to be played at your wedding?
: saving forever for you, you, beginning today, by heart, i finally found someone.

[18] Do you like anyone?
: of course! i still believe in love though it's hurting me now.

re post this as:"18 love questions"

" Toxic" in a Nurse's Points of View

Literally, 'toxic' means poisonous substance that can inflict bodily harms, but in a nurse perspective it means pending work or multiple Doctor's orders or huge patient census. I never been toxic since i started working until yesterday.

My original shift was Am, ordinarily the usual ratio in our unit is three bedsides and one charge nurse. Unluckily, yesterday we only had two bedsides Ma'am Jem and I and Ma'am Tala our charge nurse. We had 13 patients and three admissions, so to sum it up i had eight or nine patients that morning. At the start of the shift, everything went smoothly, until when i started to fed my one patient using gastric tube, i didn't see the feeding Iv on the bedside so i utilized the Toomy syringe that has 50 cc, imagine i have to fed my client with 210 cc using that syringe, that ate my time so much, funny indeed the relative told me "Ito na lang gamitin mo,mas madali, ito iyong ginagamit nila!" gosh! i was humiliated, i overlooked that device. When i am really recovered, the patient tracheostomy released a lot of secretions so i suctioned it. Then i have to prepare all my due medications. I have to fill out all the stationary to plot all the Vital Signs, do charting, catered all the patients and relatives' request. And other pending work i have to attend to.

Much to my dismay, another co associate went absent so they asked me to extend my duty up to 7pm, the "toxiness" wasn't subside until 5:30pm, I have blood transfusion, i have to reinsert Iv's to three of my patients. Two of them had fever and increase blood sugar. To add with my misery i extended the duty up to 11pm, so i had A/P shift. Omg! what a day, i thought i was indefatigable but i was wrong, my energy was depleted. At least i learned about strategies and techniques. :)

Affectionately,

Ainan.

A Nice Article about Chris Tiu

I found this articleon one comment in Chris' blog, so here's the link below you can know him more in a family based aspect. Hope you visit it. :)

http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/lifestyle/lifestyle/view/20080921-161957/How-do-you-raise-a-Chris-Tiu

Quotes to Live By

10 Steps to a Healthy Self;

1. Be your own BESTFRIEND.
2. Take TIME to enjoy your life.
3. Let go of the past.
4. Set goals for your life.
5. Talk positively to yourself.
6. Visualize your success behavior.
7. Make choices for your life.
8. Network with others.
9. Write down your family script.
10. Accept yourself as you are.


When i received this quote as an sms, i was touched by its simplicity, and the complex meaning it has, i remember before when i was down and broken, and almost giving up. For the record, i'm not suicidal but there's a time that i wished that i just die to sleep and i could no longer open my eyes in this cruel and unjust world. But, when the time you thought that every aspect of your life was falling apart, a "Divine Intervention" comes in. I always experience that, i will attest to that in your most lowest time, that's the time God came to rescue, suddenly, everything falls back into place you almost felt paradise.

I guess that's the magic and mystery of life. Hope you internalize the qoute above.

Thanks!
Ainan

Random Thoughts (Birthday, One More chance)

Last September 09, it was my birthday, unfortunately i haven't got a chance to celebrate it because i was on duty that day. Honestly, I forgot that it was my birthday, thanks to my friend Karla, because she texted me earlier and later on realized it was my birthday. Good thing when i got home my mother and my sister cooked something for me. It was a plain celebration, but having so much people greet me through texts and emails and comments on friendster, it was one wonderful day to be happy and thankful.

I watched "Boy and Kris" a while ago, and i was happy watching Kristine Hermosa on TV again. they gave a birthday bash for her, and i even cried over when Nyoy Volante sang 'beautiful girl' by Jose Mari Chan, how i wish someone can do the same, i don't know, i want someone to gratify me with such songs like You're Beautiful, She Will be Love or Be my lady. Actually, Kristine and i have the same birth date, we have shared many things in common, same height, same eye color, and same aspiration. We both wanted to be a "Flight Attendant" maybe because the glamour behind the job or the chance to travel around the world. I always say that she's one of my favorite people and i admire her Beauty. She's a Goddess! And i am a danzel in distress.lols Whose my prince?

Last, Wednesday i had DVD marathon and i preferred to watch One More Chance starring Bea Alonzo and John LLoyd Cruz, i wasn't disappointed now it's one of my favorite movie. The plot was simple but with the superb acting and wonderful dialogues, no wonder it made to the box office. I cried over the scene when Poy told his suicidal friend the reason why people leave us even though we loved them so much. The reasoning was so real, and it made an impact on me personally. I agree, we are hurt because we have to search for that one who will accept our mistakes and will change all the wrongs in us to make us right. How i wish i could find my Poy soon, I am one of those Basha, who tried to find herself and still trying to put up herself. The movie was right, you can only love a person if you're whole, so you can give the hundred percent of yourself and your love for that person.

Thanks for reading!

Ainan

An Ordinary Day; Turned out into a Not so Ordinary Day

When i was out at St. Luke's at around 3:30 pm being tired with an eight hours of duty, i thought another ordinary day passed by. The stress of work are all gone, and its now time for a relaxing break. I put on a powder, sprinkled some perfume so the smell of the past wont hunt me while I'm commuting, i am really conscious about how i look, i want to be presentable and look professional always.


But one major disaster happened; When i was about to sat on the chair i picked on the bus, i didn't notice the vomitus spread on the floor, and that time i was busy ogling at Keannu Reeves on the movie "Constantine" that was playing on the bus. When suddenly stepped on the vomitus and slipped on the floor then bumped on the corner where the vomitus was located. To top it all, the vomitus sticked at the hemline of my white pants, on my sock all the way to the shoe. That was grouse, i was really pissed off, i was de-glamorized. The poised ran out of me.:(


After that, i have to walk sidewards like a crab to conceal the stain, imagine, I'm pretty sure it caused a scene:( luckily it doesn't stink! When i was riding on a 'jeepney' towards Rosario Pasig, a guy the same age as mine with a friend companion who just sat beside me, suddenly tapped my shoulders and said "Bro, magkano pamasahe hanggang Rosario?" At that moment, the first thing came to myself, this guy was rude calling me "Bro" maybe, because I'm not used being tag as one. When i was about to reply with dismay on my face, i was shocked because the guy was so cute. He's kinda smart too, based on what i heard on their conversation. Nonetheless he considered me as one of the boys,lols. To think he branded me as 'Bro'?!


When i was on the last vehicle towards home at Caniogan Pasig, i was stunned when a couple just the same age as mine rode on the jeep, i was really, really disappointed when i saw the girlfriend. Oh, my God! the girl was simple (trying to be nice.:), but the guy was so competitive, handsome, tall and great body by the way. He was quite a catch, i was disappointed because another case of 'True Love', such a cliche, but its rampant nowadays.


Actually, i was bitter because i haven't had a relationship for almost three years now. Maybe i do missed being loved and pampered but that's life. Thanks for reading, i know its kinda lack of substance but its quite an adventure for me, and somewhat unusual.

Reviews on My favourite TV shows ( I love, Betty La Fea & )

"It's not the harder you fall, it's the stronger you stand" as Toni Gonzaga said earlier on Entertainment Live interviewing Bea Alonzo for the upcoming Betty la Fea series. The quote really suited the series, because it's what Betty made me realized when i watched the original Colombian version. You may accuse me being cheesy or mushy, but i do love the series even the American version entitled 'Ugly Betty'.


I learned about so many things on life, it teaches you how to be optimistic, and be strong no matter what ordeal arises. Being optimistic is the key value i appreciated on that show. I even practiced what America Ferrera did on the pilot episode, i always start my day looking at the mirror saying (I'm an optimistic, determined and beautiful individual). You know what, it works! Affirming yourself of who and what's your worth, i couldn't fathom what's the magic but it helps me brighten my day.


Another thing is acceptance of who you are, and what life offers you. Betty showed me how to appreciate things i have right now. Loved life, live it to the fullest.
Its ironic that, the people who has everything,are the people who possessed insecurities deep within themselves;The show also exhibit change, being dynamic in a good way. Betty did change physically, but it was gradual, it was a step by step manner, meaning if you want to change yourself, you have to do it slowly you don't have to speed or hurry everything. And the change should come from within, with your own volition. Furthermore, her change was dramatic, she even change her personality, from being shy and timid, to become confident,sophisticated and a woman of substance. But she remains humble and sweet, she retain her beautiful qualities which is being happy with everything.

People always say that looks doesn't matter, but in reality having a pleasing personality really helps a lot. But as many people say what's important is the beauty inside. The maturity, the learning, the experiences, and the way you handle people who you cross along with. To top it all, i do believe that the true thing that can make you happy is be contented of what we have, disappointment comes when we fail to get what we want. I'm not saying that we should stop dreaming or aspiring, what I'm trying to imply is that learn to appreciate what life is offering you, wheter good or bad. Trial;s are there to make us strong, to transform us to become a better person, and don't be afraid to make a mistakes, you will encounter mistakes along the way, through out your life, what's important is you learn from it and it will catapult you to whatever you want to be.


Ainan

My Old Songs Composition 2

Here's another song composition of mine, it was written last 2006 i forgot the exact date but I'm used to put on the date every time i have an output. My muse for this song is my former classmate and friend named Ryan Patrick Danao, at that time he was committed to someone who doesn't seem to appreciate his worth. He's a sweet guy, very funny and goofy a combination a girl will surely swoon over. Hope you'll like it, its a labor of love although one-sided love.


" If I Was the One whose Loving You"

If i was the one whose loving you,
I'll gather my world to offer you
I'll catch all the laughter's and
grow old with you;
But how can i share these to you?!..


If you only know what I'm hiding here,
I'm gatherin' my strenght,
coz it hurts and it kills;
I'm cryin' these tears, Oh! babe can't you hear
but how can i show these to you?!..


Chorus:
(But/that) my heart is not just the same,
And your heart, everyday that i pray;
But how can i express it,
If you will go and break it,
Coz all the time i know that
you're lovin' someone so...


If time will reveal what i'm writin' here,
I'm preparin' myself for the pain i would feel;
The pain of rejection, the hope! and the fear!
But why do I LOVE YOU still?!!!


Coda:
If i was the one whose loving you,
I hope someday i can sing this to you.....:(