The Sweet Escape

You may associate this entry to Gwen Estefani's huge hit single last 2007, its kinda related due to the lyrics "If i could escape, and recreate a place of my of my own world". For me, i do believe we are all "escapist" in are own little world, we have all our different ways how to escape life stress, chaos, and even avoiding difficult people. I was inspired to write this entry because i found out that i have a numerous ways of escaping, let say I'm an escape artist. lols.

Seriously, when i am woe and broken, and almost knocking to the door of the "Department of Temporary Insanity" i always do daydreaming, i fantasize places i want to visit, people i want to be with, and career i would prefer if I'm not in my shoes today, its a great relief temporarily from the realm of your true status quo. Recently, i went home to Bulacan to a paid a visit to my family and later found out, coming home to the place you we're born is a good di-stress activity, surely, there's no place like home, the comfort it brings, the slow-paced life, the fresh air, an escape from the fast-paced life away from the metropolis.

Yesterday, i had an acquaintance with one of my gal pal, we talked about almost everything, and updated ourselves with all the major changes happened to us. What strikes me the most was the news that our closet-gay friend now have a new boyfriend, and she wants me to keep it a secret because our friend wanted to keep it a secret between the two of them, which now its not a secret anymore, obviously. I felt weird when i heard the news, i dunno if i felt peculiar, emptied or insecure, maybe the last two because, i am single for almost three years now. Though, i accept it already that maybe i was one of the chosen few born to be single, still I'm not losing hope that someday i will find "HIM". Just what I've said to my friend, "I'm saving the best for last" and i know that what He has in store for me is much more to my expectation. I'm not hoping because its pure expectation instead i have "Faith" that he will come. Faith is believing that something good is in store for you, right?

Ainan :)

"Seeing My First Love and Ex Unexpectedly"

The guy name is Mark Anthony Escanilla, I had this feeling for him since grade six, and eventually stop loving him, (if i did) when i was in my third year as a nurse and went to manila.

I have plenty of memories about this guy, i even consider him as my soul mate, because during those times i swoon over him, we always wore the same color of shirts, and wherever i went he was there. Furthermore, he witnessed all the embarrassing moments of my life, all the tripping, fumbling on the road, all the wounds and those scars i gained from those freak tripping.lols.


Actually, he's my first emblem of my ideal guy (now its Chris Tiu), he stands 5'8" tall, chinky-eyed, fair skinned, medium almost slim bodied, we've been textmates last 2004, and built a mutual relationship, i even agreed to jump on a relationship with him, though he had a girlfriend that time for about three months, and that girl named was Mariela. The relationship last for about a month because i decided to end it up, though he said, he didn't love the girl, and only his friends forced him to court her. I defended that if he really not in love with that girl, why does he still continue going on with that crap, that's why i thought of some bluff to end our relationship, i can't stand being the second best or the mistress. I haven't met the girl yet, and only saw her pictures on Mak Mak's FS account. She's a plain simple girl, and i know he love her so much, they are still together up to now, if I'm not mistaken they are cohabiting and in their five or six years. I still do have access to Mak mak's account because we exchanged password before.

I never saw him again, and still so many stories i haven't posted yet, i will tell the whole story when i have the time. I saw him again last October 7, all the way to Manila while he was his way home to Talacsan, i only had a glimpse of him because he was riding on a tricycle that time and i was walking towards the Bus Terminal. Funny, that i was staring at this one guy i constantly had the same Jeep to ride, after that guy passed by i saw Mak Mak looking at me, i only stared at him for a second and looked away, because i know Mariela was with him.

I don't know what i felt at that time, but i know God has a reason for that encounter. He was the one who taught me to love, gave me my first heartache, my first cry, and the first person i had written my first song. And maybe, still willing to give my whole life with. I still have feelings for him, maybe first love never dies. But i know he is happy right now, even though it's not with me at least i am happy he is. Maybe the song "Minsan lang Kitang Iibigin" was meant for us, because every time we had an encounter, that's the song on the background.

P.S I know this sounds mushy or quite a telenovela, but i want to thank you for reading this entry. : )

Ainan

The Dare Chris Tiu's Talking About During the Bonfire

I've got a chance to surf the net, and get a copy of the dare Chris Tiu said on his blog; It was kinda hilarious, but i applauded the guy for the courageous thing he did.

Whom ever you are; Kudos! for you.

Ainan

"A Song Written for Chris Tiu"

I had this song in my mind for couple of weeks now. I was afraid to materialize this project because I am afraid after i finished this song, i have to let go and stop following Chris Tiu's journey. Because every time i wrote song for my past ex's or special someone the feeling suddenly gone, maybe died by its natural cause. But now I'm writing this entry hoping for you all to appreciate, hoping someday he read this song or someday he can heard this song air on the mainstream. Here's the lyrics of the song, i don't know how to write the melody but it already has one, so feel free to scrutinize;

"UNREACHABLE"

You, came into my life
at the lowest point i had
Maybe, an angel in disguised
You change everything i have
You didn't know by now;
what you have done to me
You made me love again;
even in a dream

You, are so adored
people love you as you are
Superstar, in you're own right
superman in their eyes
An every girl's dream;
so it was for me
Yet the truth is;
You're an impossible dream

Chorus 1:

As i lay my head to sleep
wishing in my dreams
That i could hold you in my arms
although its just a dream
I'll be blissful for that scene
for you're my unreachable, impossible...
STAR

Lucky, the girl you love
maybe she's the happiest girl?!
Having, you as her man
I am being insecure
But fate brought you to me;
hoping for eternity
That destiny will changed;
And turned that ball for me

Chorus 2:

But when i opened up my eyes
tears begin to fall
That i couldn't hold you in my arms
even in my wildest dreams
Sad though it seems
Coz you're my impossible, unreachable..

STAR

Ainan :)

"Nostalgia or Melancholia?"

Its been four months since i went back to Bulacan. I've been busy with work, and some inevitable stuff. Being at home again brought me peace of mind and time to rejuvenate and recuperate. truly, there's no place like home. Although, nothing changed but the fresh air and the joy of being with the company and comforts of your family, kept me felt better.

I forgot to wrote that i came from San Rafael, bulacan. Actually, not that far from manila a one-hour ride away from metropolis. I went home because i need to fetch my mother and nephew back to manila for a week vacation. On the way back to manila, we took an ordinary bus because my mother has motion sickness or in medical term 'vertigo' when on a vehicle. Being on that bus brought back so many memories, its been five or six years since i rode an ordinary type of bus. Maybe, i miss all the pollution, and the noise of all those vendors who sell (chicharon, pinipig, and candies). I remember when i was young we used to took this vehicle, but when i started College i preferred the Aircon one. Not just being 'maarte' but the comfort it brings.

Maybe, things changed a lot. Even a month brings a lot of change. Everyday the world is changing, what i learned is appreciate everything you have right now, and treasure all the memories you had. And if you have the time go back to those places that made you happy, and sentimental to you. So this sounds nostalgic?! isn't it...lols.

Ainan

"18 LOVE QUESTIONS''

I found this questionnaire posted on my bulletin at my Friendster account; If you like it, you can repost it. enjoy...:)


if you opened it, you have to do it,or a loved 1 will be in an accident.

Love Survey: You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY!!-

[01] Are you currently in a relationship?
:nope, not yet.

[02] Have you ever been given a rose?
:yes.

[03] What is your all-time favorite love story movie?
:my sassy girl.

[04] Are you in love right now?
:i don't think so, I'm numb right now.

[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate?
:yes!

[06] What's your current problem?
:adjusting to work scheds,and working environment.

[07] Have you ever had your heartbroken?
: all the time.

[08] Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships?
:as long as you can keep the love alive.

[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
:yes. yes. yes.

[10] The person your with right now,do you want to spend your life with?
:i haven't found the one.

[11] How many kids do you want to have?
:one or two are enough.

[12] What is/are & your favorite color?
:red, powder blue, magenta.

[13] Who are your celebrity crushes?
: CHRISTOPHER JOHN ALANDY-DY TIU

[14] Do you believe you truly only love once?
: nope.

[15] Imagine you're 40 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
:i don't think so. i love deeply.

[16] Do you believe in love at first sight?:
yes.

[17] What song u want to be played at your wedding?
: saving forever for you, you, beginning today, by heart, i finally found someone.

[18] Do you like anyone?
: of course! i still believe in love though it's hurting me now.

re post this as:"18 love questions"

" Toxic" in a Nurse's Points of View

Literally, 'toxic' means poisonous substance that can inflict bodily harms, but in a nurse perspective it means pending work or multiple Doctor's orders or huge patient census. I never been toxic since i started working until yesterday.

My original shift was Am, ordinarily the usual ratio in our unit is three bedsides and one charge nurse. Unluckily, yesterday we only had two bedsides Ma'am Jem and I and Ma'am Tala our charge nurse. We had 13 patients and three admissions, so to sum it up i had eight or nine patients that morning. At the start of the shift, everything went smoothly, until when i started to fed my one patient using gastric tube, i didn't see the feeding Iv on the bedside so i utilized the Toomy syringe that has 50 cc, imagine i have to fed my client with 210 cc using that syringe, that ate my time so much, funny indeed the relative told me "Ito na lang gamitin mo,mas madali, ito iyong ginagamit nila!" gosh! i was humiliated, i overlooked that device. When i am really recovered, the patient tracheostomy released a lot of secretions so i suctioned it. Then i have to prepare all my due medications. I have to fill out all the stationary to plot all the Vital Signs, do charting, catered all the patients and relatives' request. And other pending work i have to attend to.

Much to my dismay, another co associate went absent so they asked me to extend my duty up to 7pm, the "toxiness" wasn't subside until 5:30pm, I have blood transfusion, i have to reinsert Iv's to three of my patients. Two of them had fever and increase blood sugar. To add with my misery i extended the duty up to 11pm, so i had A/P shift. Omg! what a day, i thought i was indefatigable but i was wrong, my energy was depleted. At least i learned about strategies and techniques. :)

Affectionately,

Ainan.